Reflections on Mother’s Day

Happy Belated Mothers Day!  Personally I am not sure I appreciate these “Hallmark” holidays.  Yes, I realize that the company Hallmark did not start this holiday.  In fact, did you know that a woman by the name of Julia Ward Howe, the author of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic”, in an effort to offer and seek comfort of those women who had lost loved-one’s in the civil war,  gathered mothers together to celebrate a day of peace and to pray to end he suffering brought about by the Civil Way.  This first “Mother’s Day” in 1872 was later fined tuned by a Philadelphia schoolteacher, Anna Jarvis, who in 1907 asked her church to come together to pray for all mothers in honor of her late mother who was buried on the second weekend in May.  It was on May 9th, 1914 that President Woodrow Wilson made it an official national holiday to be celebrated annually.  Yes, I know my history.  But I call it a “Hallmark” holiday because it has gone from a day of prayer, hope and honor to a day of outrageous expectations and copious disappointments.

When I was married, because we had little money, Mother’s Day was a day that my then husband planned, which meant I still cooked, took care of our small daughter but did this at some park where he got to go and wander in the woods.  Later I made it about he and his brother honoring their mother cuz at least this way we would all go out to dinner.  (FYI–Father’s day was usually a camping trip where we took an entire weekend to spend wandering in the woods.)  Truly, I am not complaining.  It was what it was.  Yes, like millions of women who wanted breakfast in bed, their childrenshowing them withacts of love and devotion, husbands pampering them with all sorts of little luxuries as shown in the Hallmark and FTD commercials; I was disappointed.  But not this year.

This year, as I have for many past years, I spent my weekend working.  I teach and facilitate a seminar for engaged couples seeking marriage in the Catholic Church all day Saturday and then I work with one of two different parish groups I oversee in selling flowers (hanging baskets, small pots of flowers) to raise money for our programming.  ConvenientMother’s day gifts to buy as they walk out of Mass.  My daughter I sent off to be with her Dad and her Babcia (grandmother) because I would be busy all day and I spent my weekend “smoozing” with the parishioners as they came and went.

At one point I got into a long conversation with one of the other helpers.  As Mass is going on our busy slows to nothing but someone must keep an eye on the product.  So, we sit and chat.  Deborah and I starting talking about this “holiday” and our children and we both agree — we have great kids.  Yes, it is nice to be honored by them and a day where they have to express their love and appreciation.  But, rather than a day we would have every day to be proud of the men and women they are becoming.  We talked about how difficult it can be to get them through those “difficult stages” but the way they best honor us is not by spending one day courting our attention but by everyday living with honor, compassion, wisdom and faith.  Yes, they will (and have) tumbled and fell but they didn’t remain down but got themselves back up.  I am thrilled and humbled that at almost 18 years old my daughter still likes to “hang out” with me and enjoys making me laugh.  I love to watch her lead groups and interact with  her friends with such stregnth and compassion.  And nothing gives me more joy then sitting with her or seeing her in Church every weekend.  These are the moments I treasure.

ith all that said I also wish to offer my prayers and support to all those mothers who didn’t have their children with them on Mother’s day because of all the senseless reasons that bring about war, illness, hostility, anger…  I pray in thanksgiving to all those single women who may not have had children biologically but loved the young lives that came into theirs as teachers, nurses, aunts, social workers…  And I am humbled and pray for all the men who for whatever reason became the mom for their children or other others.  We are created in God’s image and likeness which means that we have the capacity for great love and compassion.  That is what I celebrate on Mother’s Day. 

I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

A Mother’s Prayer

I need your help today.
I want to care
for those you’ve sent into my life,
to help them develop the special gifts
you’ve given them.

But I also want to free them
to follow their own paths
and to bring their loving wisdom
to the world.

Help me
to embrace them without clutching,
to support them without suffocating,
to correct them without crushing.

And help me
to live joyfully and playfully, myself,
so they can see your life in me
and find their way to you.
Amen.

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Tags: Anna Jarvis, compassion, Hallmark Holiday, Julia Ward Howe, Love, Mom, Mother's Day, parenting

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