The Silence of Christ

After these past few days I have come to understand why Christ remained silent in front of the Sanhedrin, Pilate and Herod on Good Friday.  You know what I mean but if you want to remember read Mark 14:53 and on.  I have always wondered why Jesus didn’t defend himself or use this opportunity to evangelize yet once more.  My teachers and preachers at various times have explained it away by saying something like “it had to be that way.”  And while I understand and except that I still was not satisfied because I know what I would do.  And then this past week happened and I grew in grace and wisdom.  I had a moment and knew that there was nothing that I could say that would change any body’s mind about who I am and why I do or did the things I do.  And I was alone and remained silent. 

O, I have friends who support me and care about me.  Supporters in the parish who would be there in a heart beat given that I simply ask.  But it was more that that.  It began as an unpredicatable moment, no appointment or established meeting time.  Caught in the hall coming from there going to here and BAM!  I was tapped.  And the inquisition began.  And they were after me.  It was MY decisions that were being held in question.  MY actions were under the spotlight.  MY choices were being challenged.  They were out to get ME knowing that if I was gone so to would be most of the programming (and people) that was initiated under my administration.  And even though I know I had not made these decisions alone the questions thrown at me were for me to answer.  And then I saw it.  I knew that the decision had already been made.  I looked into eyes and I knew that I was already condemn and that this moment was only a formality.  What do you do in a moment like that but bow your head and remain silent.   Where as for Christ it was his final public battle, for me it is just one more small skirmish in what seems like a never ending battle.  I came home and licked my wounds and am getting ready for the next one because I know there will be more to come. 

The Catholic Church is starting to remember that we are suppose to be about the ministry of Evangelizing – spreading the Word of God to all the nations.  But my opinion there is no place like home.  The Evangelization must begin within the confines of the Catholic Church first and foremost.  Why is it that winning adult dollars takes president over ministering to penniless souls?  I suspect the present call to “teach and preach to all nations” is based in a fear that if we don’t get more members we are going to die.  Personally, I would rather die because our focus is wrong then live dealing with the present hypocrisy.  When Jesus came to earth he came first to challenge his own faith community.  And when they wouldn’t listen then he turned his attention to any and all who would receive the truth.

Don’t worry…  I am not turning my back on the Catholic Church.   Neither is God.  He promised He would not let His Church fail.  And I love my home and I will fight for it as long as I live.  But my emphasis in my present situation has changed.  This past week confirmed for me what I have been coming to… my time is limited.  If the present administration continues as it is I will have no choice but to accept condemnation and crucifixion (not literally).  And when that day comes I know I will face it alone so I must remain strong in the face of adversity.  Battle done, I will shake the dust from my sandles and move on continuing my ministry elsewhere.  I will always love the people I served but recognize that the present administration is too crupted to think of anything other than their own safty and wants.   Sad, but unfortunately this is the state of the Church today. 

Please pray.  Pray for ourselves, for the ministries of the Church especially those that don’t have the money to take care of themselves — children, teens, homeless, sick, elderly…  Pray that these moments of silence will turn into shouts of adoration as minds and hearts are changed and people come to understand that our faith is not about maintaining buildings but about building and healing lives.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

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Tags: Catholic Church, Christ, evangelization, Good Friday, ministry, opposition, silence

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