Timelytidbits’s Weblog

There is a comment I have been hearing a lot lately — “You’ve Changed.”  Some backstabbing “friends” said this when I wouldn’t play into their mind games back in the winter.  My “bosses” said this because I have not been as “pliable” as I once one (in other words — I don’t let them walk all over me as I once use to).  My ex-husband said this throughout our “journey to divorce” because I wouldn’t just back down to all his expectations and demands.  And the truth is I have changed.  I have become the process of self-love and I am learning to stand up for myself.

We create the world we live in.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  We create the world we live in.  If you are sick and tired of people walking all over you then stand up for yourself.  They only do take advantage of you because they know they can.  If you are sick and tired of being used and abused then stop allowing it.  I understand it takes courage.  I understand that it requires strength.  And I understand that it is scarey because we don’t know the outcome.  But if you aren’t willing to do the work then stop complaining.  Step up or Shut up.

This may sound harsh but I am not sorry if it offends.  It has been said that Jesus came to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable.  I know how to comfort the afflicted.  I have based 30 plus years of ministry on that.   Sometimes my work was appropriate but I can honestly say that I allowed people to take advantage of my selfdoubt and insecurity to take advantage of me and my time.  Now I realize more and more that I need to learn to afflict the comfortable.  To stand up for myself and for others.  I have made alot of people comfortable by playing into their weaknesses and wants.  Its contributed to the destruction of my marriage.  But no more. 

I believe that we are a society that puts billions into people’s pockets because we comfort inappropriately.  Had a hard day?  Have a beer.  Kids getting on your nerves?  Pop some pills.  Poor baby, life is full of disappointments for you?  Get over yourself!  Get off the couch, turn off the TV and get to work.  Don’t get me wrong.  I do believe there are legitimate issues and concerns that we must work hard to cope with in life.  But we are a culture and a society that babies people.  Don’t believe me?  Listen to the talk show circuit.  Look whats on the best sellers list.

For people to look you in the eye with respect is for you to first stand up, look them in the eyes.  And the respect comes when you believe there is something worth respecting.  If we think of ourselves as a product we are selling…. look at how you have “packaged” it.  Is what you are where speak to the respect you wish to receive?  Look at how you present it.  Are you standing tall and proud with confidence that what is here is worth them knowing?  And the only what that is going to happen is if you believe it yourself.  Change is a good thing.  Besides, what do you have to loose, except alot of misery.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa