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Pope John XXII is one of my personal hero’s and I hope this inspires you as much as it inspires me.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa 

EUCHARISTIC CONCELEBRATION
COMMEMORATING POPE JOHN XXIII ON HIS MEMORIAL

HOMILY OF CARDINAL TARCISIO BERTONE

Altar of St Jerome, Vatican Basilica
Wednesday, 11 October 2006

Pope John XXIII’s message is still extraordinarily timely today. His life, his Discourses and his actions bring us to the heart of the faith and the heart of Christian commitment.

As we know, one of Pope John’s most important decisions was to convoke the Second Vatican Ecumenical Council, which was inaugurated on 11 October 1962 here in St Peter’s Basilica.

I was present (indeed, by a fortunate circumstance, it was I who organized the distribution of the first Council Documents “sub peculiari secreto” to the Council Fathers!), and I remember how the day unfolded to its extraordinary conclusion in St Peter’s Square by moonlight.

We could recall a wealth of Pope John’s teachings and episodes concerning him, but today I intend to focus on several thoughts which might be useful in our personal life and spiritual renewal.

The Church, in his view, has a motherly face: her task is to keep “her arms open to receive everyone”. She is a “home for one and all” that “desires to belong to everyone, and in particular she is the Church of the poor, like the village fountain”, with no distinctions of race or religion.

The Church’s holiness and human wisdom are expressed very clearly in what is called “The daily decalogue of Pope John XXIII”:

1) Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.

2) Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behaviour; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.

3) Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.

4) Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.

5) Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.

6) Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.

7) Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.

Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.

9) Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.

10) Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12 hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.

To conclude: here is an all-embracing resolution: “I want to be kind, today and always, to everyone”. In this way, we can put Pope John’s hope for every Christian into practice: “Every believer in this world must be a spark of light, a core of love, life-giving leaven in the mass: and the more he is so, the more he will live, in his innermost depths, in communion with God”.

Is this a statement that you have made, or at least thought to yourself?  Each day is filled with such a long “ToDo” list that you sigh because it has taken over?  Or you fill your day with the wants of others so that you run all day long?  Have you ever wondered why no one is there to take care of you as you busy yourself taking care of others? 

My new Thursday morning routine, since the divorce, has been to sleep in late on Thursday and then enjoy waking up to a movie.  Today I watched 27 Dresses.  It is the cute story of a woman who takes care of everybody else.  Because of it she has been included in 27 weddings and keeps herself busy by filling her day with the smallest details of the brides wants.  At one point she is confronted with the reality that as long as she is busy doing other people’s wants she never has to look inside to know herself; see who she is and what she needs to be happy.  She lives vicariously through everybody else.  That describes a lot of people in this world, huh?  I know it describes me. 

“Once you were no people
but now you are God’s people;”

The quote above is taken from Thursday’s First Reading from Mass — 1 Peter 2:10.  The author of the words is challenging us to realize that we are no one without God.  That through our connecting ourselves to the love, words and works of Jesus we are wandering aimlessly through this world.  We choose to live in this condition of perpetual business so that we don’t have to face the fact that our lives are so empty and without meaning.  Or there is meaning but one we have created for ourselves not one that is true.  It is living a lie because we are afraid of seeing the truth. 

In the movie they successfully found some of the most ridiculous bride-maid’s dresses known to humankind (and I should know because I have had to wear a few myself) each one more hideous than the last.  It was very entertaining to watch the actress put on each dress, but in my mind I saw it as our attempts at trying on roles, relationships, jobs, addictions… to find the one that will truly make us happy and whole.  Truth is that we will never find it by “putting on” anything but only  by seeking the truth within.  We are a “no-people” until we are willing to unite ourselves with the creator, with God.  It is a lesson I am struggling hard to incorperate into my life each day.

So, as we face a new day– instead of looking outside ourselves for the happiness and fulfillment we seek lets each take a deep breath and pause to ask our inner self what is needed.  And with that answer be willing to do something about it.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

Not knowing what to write about I cruised the internet for a while hoping for an inspiration.  I happened apon a quiz that showed you two versions of a corperate mascot and asked you to identify the right one.  The differences were slight such as on which side does Ronald McDonald wear the famed “M”.  (I got that one wrong.)  Being a child of the TV generation I got 18 out of 20 correct.  Impressed?  I was for a moment until I thought about it.  I realized that in todays world I would probably gain more respect for knowing corporate mascots then I would for knowing the books of the Bible.

Why is it that we have moved so far away from supporting life in faith.  As a child growing up everyone in my neighborhood when to church on Sunday.  And regardless of their denomination they knew us kids were Catholic and to not feed us meat sandwiches on Friday.  Today we are the strange family getting dressed up every Sunday and going to Church.  No one on our block notices because they are all asleep, fishing or in front of the TV.  What has happened to us that Ronald McDonald is more recognizable then St. Nicholas?

My opinion is that we are a “fastfood” world and if we can’t be “served” in a matter of minutes we don’t want to participate.  I hear all the time that the main reason people don’t go to church is because its boring.  My response?  You’re not there to be entertained.  I usually get this blank look of confusion.  People don’t want to work at faith or love or relationships.  It is easier to walk away then it is to stay and work it out.  And Faith, which requires your focus to be on something other then yourself…. very few are willing to handle that.

Sad part is then they will never know the real satisfaction in life.  When we make ourselves the center of our universe… our own mascot then life becomes increasingly empty.  But when we look to the creator of all, who gave us life to also give us meaning then life becomes a grand adventure.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

One of the great frustrations of being a parent is to stand by and watch your children struggle through their own messes.  I think we do our children a great disservice by “rescuing” them.  They need to sort out and deal with the problems they create in their own life.  But that said its still not easy to stand by and do nothing.  Well, in truth I am not sure my daughter would let me “do anything” even if i was willing.  I mean, what do I know?  Been there, done that… years of experience… college education… but according to her, know nothing.  But I don’t see our relationship any different then any teen/parent dialogue.

On nights like tonight, after she has opened up a little, there is so much I want to say but don’t because its more about me listening then talking.  But if I thought she would listen these are the things I would love to say:

• Don’t sweat the little stuff and in truth it is all little stuff
• Ten years from now… five years from now everything you see as important will have been forgotten
• Keep your sense of humor.  If you can laugh when everyone else is freaking out you will be so much a head of the game
• Don’t loose sleep over a boyfriend.  At 16 years old there is not much depth to the relationship because there is not much depth to either of you.
• Don’t change yourself to keep a boyfriend or keep a friend.  Anyone you have to change for to keep isn’t worth keeping
• If zits are the worse medical condition you worry about then Thanks Be to God!  Cry over cancer yes but zits… no!
• Family is everything.  Those that you have been born into and those who love you regardless — these are the people who will stand with you through the joys and sorrows of life… not “the crowd”.
• You are an amazing person — one in a million and you need to wait until someone values you for all of who you are and you value them for the special person they are

Yup these are the things I would love to say to my daughtter and I do in a variety of days.  Problem is what do I know.  I am only her mother!  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

Today I had the opportunity to watch a movie than, in the mainstream was considered a sleeper, had a powerful message… at least to me.  The title of the movie is August Rushand while very hokie and unrealistic at times was the powerful story of love found, then lost, then found again.  Concert Celloist who studied at Julliard meets rock & roll band lead guitarist and composer.  They have one amazing night and then are separated by life circumstances but they know they have met their destiny.  There is a by product of this initial meeting… a child.  The mother, in her ninth month, is in an accident and survives but believes her child is dead.  Her father, a demanding stage parent, gives the child up for adoption believing it best for all, well, for his dreams for his daughter, anyway.  The bulk of the story takes place some 11 years later.  The boy is still in the foster system.  The mother has given up her playing but teaches music.  The father of the boy has given up music all together.  The boy, who later gets the name August Rush, has inherited his parents gifts plus a few more of his own.  And with these gifts he sets out on a quest to find his parents.  For more of the story rent the movie.

This is one moment in the movie when a street musician, who is trying to help August understand the profound nature of his gift, asks the boy; “If you could have anything in the universe, what would it be?”  Of course the adult (and audience) expect the boy to say something like fame or a home or something tangible.  What he said, I believe, was the theme of the movie.  His response was one word:  “Found”.

In my mind that is what each of us hunger and thirst for… to be found.  Many of us have family.  Most of us have friends.  But even with all of that there is some part of us that is lost.  You may be saying to yourself that I am crazy or at least wrong but think about it.  Very few people are completely happy and satisfied with themselves and their lives just the way it is.  Most feel, (if they let themselves) an uncomfortable sense of dissatisfaction or incompleteness about their lives or themselves.  Unfortunately we cover it up with addictions and distractions of all sorts, or we believe the answer is found in somebody else.  In truth there is only one place that we will find the answer — within ourselves.

August was able to remain true to his most basic nature even in the face of bullies and he found his parents not by searching aimlessly but by learning about his own giftedness and then celebrating that.  And it was in that experience that his life came together. 

So, if you, like me, are still trying to figure life out don’t look outside of yourself.  Don’t become something your not in hopes of finding love.  Be who God created you to be completely and honestly and then you too will be found.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

Over the past few days I have been experiencing some “technical difficulties” with my computer.  Now before you place the blame on the user (which would be actuate most days) this time there really was a problem within the system.  So, today, finally having the time at home I called for “tech support” and because I enjoy meeting new people while we waited for the computer to respond to the different commands I started chatting with the young lady on the phone.  Turns out she is the mother of a 15 year old who both live with her 62 year old mother.  Needless to say the multi-generational home creates some unique challenges.  Our brief conversation centered around music, specifically Christian music.

Why is it that we get into a mindset that our way is the only way to understand and experience God?  I run into this all the time.  The older generation doesn’t like the music of the younger generation.  The liberals can’t (or won’t) understand the conservatives experience.  I remember my parents getting upset with my sister who was so into the Beattles.  “Thats just noise!”  they would say.  Yet, I remember my mother talking about upsetting her father by turning the radio on to Glen Miller and other Big Bands and her telling me he said something similar.  Why can’t we accept that maybe, just maybe if we have a God who loves us uniquely we can’t love God in our own unique way as well.

St. John of the Cross used an image of our life’s journey is similar to climbing a mountain.  At the peak; our goal is union with Christ.   Throughout our life we make choices that may or may not lead us in different directions, but if our journey is remains pointed towards God who are we to criticize the choice.  You like Gospel music.  I like Christian Rap.  You prefer praying the Liturgy of the Hours.  I depend on the Rosary.  So what if we aren’t doing the same thing.  We are both questing for God.

Later, as my problem continued with my computer I was required to talk to another tech person.  This time the person spoke with a heavy accent which made it difficult for me to understand the directions.  But even when I did, since I am still very much a novice with computers, I needed him to “dumb down” the information so I could understand.  I was frustrated with him and he was with me.  At one point the tech suggested we both take a deep breath and start again.  He talked slower and “dumber” and I listened more intently and repeated back what I heard.  We got along fine.  I didn’t ask him to change his basic nature and neither did he to me.  We both that realized that the other’s ways was legitimate and worked with what we have.

If my faith walk has taught me anything it has taught me that there are many paths to God.  Our challenge is to find our way which might sometimes mean carving out a unique path.  But another challenge is to remain sensitive and aware that our way is not the only way.  That our own experience of God, our own walk towards our heavenly Father can be enriched if we open ourselves up to seeing things through the eyes of others.  Like learning a new language.  When you learn how to speak in a new language you don’t automatically forget your first, second or third tongue.  You just add it to your repertoire of knowledge.  I think, in faith, people fear the unknown because there is an underlying belief that to learn something new means to forget the old ways.  Never happened to me.

So, my challenge to you is to open yourself up to new experiences.  Turn on Christian Rock.  Listen to Catholic Talk radio.  Try a new prayer experience.  Who knows, you might meet God there.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

I come from a military family.  Not only did my Father service in the Army but my mother as well.  She was an Army Nurse and served overseas in the Philippine Islands during World War II.  My Father served in France as the secretary for the SurgeonGeneral in one of the field hospitals.  After the war they both got stationed at the Military Hospital in Tacoma, Washington at Fort Lewis.  My father saw my mother coming off duty one day and the rest, as they say is history.  But our commitment to our countries freedom doesn’t end there.  My brother retired as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Marine Corp after over 22 years of dedicated service.  He receive a field commission while commanding troops in Desert Storm.  I am very proud of what my family has done to serve this country.

It is so easy to criticize military action from the comfort of our lazyboy.  We should or shouldn’t be there gets debated all over this country.  Honestly, I don’t want to get into that conversation.  What I want to say is “Thank you” to anyone who puts themselves in the line of fire, literally, to keep me and my family safe.  Thank you to the military who serve all over this world showing the strength of convictions.  Thank you to those who serve here in this country to keep our borders safe.  Thank you to those who work within community, hospital and emergency services to watch over and take care of those in need.  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

I get strange looks from people but every time I see someone in uniform, military, police, firefighter…. I say “Thank you for serving” as I pass by.  And I mean it.  The Letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians uses this wonderful analogy of a body as how a community should work.  The hand does what it can do so that the eye can do what it needs to do, and when everyone works together its a great and grand thing.  I am to old to join any military forces but I appreciate there are those who are willing to dedicate themselves to this countries protection and I say Thank you.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

Why is it that we expect so much from our religious beliefs but give so little? 

There is a gentlemen who works in my office, (Well, work is not a great word for him…exists would be a more appropriate description) who wears this huge crucifix around his neck.  Its almost as if he expects that if he wears this “talisman” it will provide evidence for something.  Lately I have been thinking that, those who make their business/profession be about faith such as ministers, priests, lay professional, that we get to a point where we do our “work” and then go home.  Its like the messages of the Gospel are for everyone else but not for us.  I include myself here because I cannot accuse my fellow ministers without the fingers pointing back at myself.

Today’s gospel for daily Mass, taken from Mark, chapter 9 has the apostles arguing among themselves who is the greatest apostle.  I can just hear them:

Peter:  Well, he changed my name!  That should mean something

Andrew:  Pity!  You couldn’t spell Simon.

John:  Yah, well he calls me “the beloved” and I may be young but I am always invited along

Philip:  Because we can’t afford a babysitter…

You get the idea.  Like a bunch of siblings sniping and arguing in the back of the car on any road trip that takes more then a few minutes.  And that conversation continues today.  Whether it be the priest or the parish council president; the choir or the deacon; the DRE or parents everyone believes that they are indispensable and have the right to be seen as special and important. 

But what did Jesus conclude in this lesson?  He pointed to the children and said:  “You must be come like one of these.”  Humility.  Obedience.  Growth.   These are three virtues we expect of children.  They understand their unimportance in the face of all others.  They listen and obey.  And they GROW UP!  This is the attitude we are to face before the Lord.  No inflated self importance.  Funny thing is the more important you think you are the less true it is.

So, as we walk through this day let us take the time to realize our dependence on the love of the Lord.  To ask not what our church, our faith, our relationship to the Lord can do for us but what we can do for them.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

In my quest to health I finally figured something out today. But first let me remind myself (and you if you care) what I have learned so far in this journey.

First, this life we live isn’t it. This is not our final destination. (I learned this a long time ago but its an important foundation.) Our earthy existence is temporary. Don’t get me wrong its important because what we don’t learn to do here we take with us into the next and work out in purgatory. So, the more we work on dealing with stuff here the sooner we walk through those pearly gates. A part of our understanding that “this world ain’t it” is to accept and understand that this world isn’t and never will be perfect. We will never have it all (whatever all is for you). And because this is a fallen world, sin is all around us, bad things will happen to good people. In fact, the more you live in the world of the secular celebrating wants and possessions, and power the harder it will be to open those gates of heaven.

Second, I know I want to live for all eternity immersed in the love of God. So, I am going to do the hard word here and now. And even if I didn’t believe in an after life; those people who live a life of faith are just better, healthier (in my opinion) and more whole people. I prefer to be around them and I want to be like them. So, if I imagine the gates of heaven as having several locks, each very specific to each person, I ask myself: What are my locks, my problems, my issues that I must learn to work on in this life? What are the keys I must learn to discipline my life to so that I can gain my goal?

A. Being Present and Obedient to God: Prayer! Not only organized prayer such as through the Church but personal prayer. And not just going through the motion but fully participating in the experiences so that they change us. God knows us better then we know ourselves. If what we are seeking is God who better to show us the way. And since each of us have our particular patterns and problems we must be always attentive to God’s voice

B. Being Present and Obedient to the Church:Study! Our ways to God can be unique but for 99.9% of us the main path is more then sufficient. Most of us don’t reach very far in our personal faith life to deviate far from the norm. And in truth most people ASSUME they know the teachings of the Catholic Church but they don’t. They take others on their word and never do the hard research themselves. And those who do go through the steps of study usually only seek what supports their basic beliefs in the first place and rarely if ever put themselves in a position to be challenged. They only look until they find what they want to believe. Its like proof texting with scripture. Not me, I want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

C-1. Being Present to the NEEDS of Others: Service. It is not enough to get ourselves to heaven. Remember the parable of the Good Samaritan? Jesus condemned the judge and the priest for walking past the needs of another. We have a responsibility to the needs of those around us. If they are hungry, homeless and hurt… and we have the ability to serve them we are obligated. Problem is that many of us in the “service industry” deal not with needs but wants. And as a society we have taught multiple generations to be dependent on others for basic needs. But that is a subject of another blog. Finally, Jesus Said; “Love your neighbor as your self.” There are two basic type of people in the world (in my opinion) those who have no problem loving themselves but need to be challenged to love others. And those who love others but never learn or practice the art of loving self. I am in the second group and Jesus didn’t give us a choice. Both are necessary for personal salvation.

C-2.  Being Present to my NEEDS:  In my opinion there are two types of people.  There are those who begin and end each day thinking of themselves and there are those who begin and end each day thinking of others.  Those who think first and foremost of themselves are challenged to put others first and those who think first of others, to put themselves in the picture.  I am the second type of person to a fault.  To my own fault.  And that is what I have learned of late…taking care of myself is an important process.  Over the past few days, as the dust has settled from the battle that has been my life of late; there stood a proud adult me knowing that I had survived.  But also in the midst of the deb-re was  the child me crying because they had fallen and gotten hurt.  Lately this child has been screaming in need of love and attention and I haven’t known what to do.  My last blog was an attempt to understand what was going on and a plea for help.  But my journey to salvation I must learn to do this for myself.  To take care of my own needs and not expect to find that outside of myself.  Too often we seek what we are to lazy to look for in our own lives and end up consoling ourselves in a bottle or drugs.  But not me. 

So, on that note I will sign off. I must go and sit with my inner child and love her for a while. She has been through a rough time and she deserves a little TLC. So, Until next time, I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

I know that a friend is going to think that I stole this idea from him but in truth I have been struggling with this idea for a long time.  Where do adults go when they want to be safe?  As children when we get scared of the things that “go bump in the night”; or, overwhelmed by the expectations of all the grown-ups around us we would have a “breakdown” or cry out in the night and, for most of us, within moments our parents arms would be around us soothing us.  My daughter is sixteen and just the other night she woke me up because she was crying.  No, she was in hysterics.  With the divorce, change to a new place, a key friend moving away, stress of school…. she had a melt down.  She came to me and I held her and we cried together until she was cried out.  Then she went back to bed and I continued to softly cry… because who will do that for me?  I am a grown up… I’m not suppose to need anybody to care that I am still scared; but now its things that go bump in the day like bills and no money to pay them.  Or overwhelmed by expectations like with bosses who treat you like shit even after you have given everything you got.  Yes, there are days and moments in a day I just need one other human being who will say nothing but just hold me and help me feel safe again. 

I know I am suppose to look to God to fulfill this need and trust me I do.  But I need to “feel” safe.  It is not enough for my brain to convince the rest of me.  I can intellectually tell myself that everything is going to be OK and I truly know it will… but I still need that lap to crawl into.  I need those arms to hold me and soft words of love whispered into my ears saying its going to be OK.  And surely there are people out there who would be willing to do that (if not for me but at least for others) But in this day and age of touch meaning so many things people don’t.  Or they do but in all the inappropriate ways.  They jump into sex convincing themselves this act means more then it does.

Where do adults go who want to “feel” safe without abusing alcohol or food or drugs or the endless number of other substances that we use to numb ourselves from feeling anything.  I would love an answer to this question.  When one is an adult and alone where, does one go?  Maybe if I had an answer to this question I could get through a day without crying.  And that would be very nice.  I remain, your servant in christ,

Theresa