As I write over 150,000 Catholics gather in Sydney, Australia, 95% under the age of 25.  World Youth Day 2008.  Over 90 countries of our present world are officially represented, I suspect (and the press as well) there are more.  Some would say those gathered are the Church of tomorrow.  I prefer and serve the idea that youth are the Church today, but often forgotten or ignored (until the hall needs cleaning or set up!) Over 250,000 will gather on Sunday for Mass.  Yes, this is the smallest WYD gathering since the first event in 1984, but organizers knew that would be the probable outcome placing the event in Australia.  Most from the northern hemisphere could not afford the trip yet the 9 of the past 11 events have been scheduled in the north; seven in Europe.  Its time.  Not since 1995 has WYD been so far south.  (1995 was in Manila, Phillipines which still holds the record for the greatest participation — over 4 million attended the Mass.)   But its not about the numbers or statics.  Its about the action of the Catholic Church and the opportunity that those gathered and those watching can be touch by God.  So PRAY!

Pray hard.  This is a rare moment and a unique opportunity.  It is one thing for a young person of growing faith to struggle daily in a secular world.  It is wonderful that they can come together with other young people of growing faith in their Churches and community… but to gather with so many, from so many different places and to be surrounded by the formal Church with our Holy Father focusing on them exclusively!  Outstanding!!!!  Just watching in on EWTN is inspiring but to be in the middle of that.  Can you imagine how many vocations to the priesthood, religious life and professional ministry will be inspired in these days?  Can you imagine how many young people will not just take a step closer in faith but huge leaps and bounds?  How many will begin to understand that their faith is not just a compartment of their lives but who they are and how they live?  How wonderfully renewing that will be for our parishes, communities and schools when these youth, now on-fire in a new or renewed way, come back into our embrace!  WYD is not just for the Youth it is for the Church universal.  We need the power of the Holy Spirit to send forth God’s power and renew the face of the earth.  So PRAY!

Pray hard.  The theme for this WYD is taken from the Acts of the Apostles 1:8:  You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be my witnesses –

Receive The Power

Can you imagine if only 10% of those that gather for the Mass — 25,000 — open their hearts, hands and heads to the Lord and Receive the Power of the Holy Spirit….!!!!!  Image 20%….30% or even 50%… why not all gathered?  God has the power!  And those gathered are youth ripe to listen and receive.  As the prayer goes: 

“Come Holy Spirit enkindle in us the fire of Your love.  Send forth Your Spirit and they shall be created; And You will renew the face of the Earth.” 

Isn’t that what we as Catholic hope for?  Wait for?  Pray for?  ….thy Kingdom come.   Remember?  The Our Father.  We pray that line each week at Mass. 

So PRAY!  and pray hard.  Those gathered for World Youth Day, they are receiving a unique and life changing gift.  Pray for them that they will be open to receiving the Holy Spirit.  And pray for us that we can be open to receiving them when they return to bring the gift of God back to us.  i remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

A question has come up in my life that I am struggling with.  When two people care about each other – can one person disagree with something that other stands for and still be happy together as friends or a couple?

Now at first blush this seems like an easy enough question.  There are many solid marriages and friendships where one person is politically apposed to another:  One republican the other democrat; or one Liberal the other Conservative.  We see couples marry who are of different faiths and they seem to make it work.  I am told it is a series of compromises and stepping away when the matter is not important – agreeing to disagree.  And when it the situation isn’t so divergent but two people who basically agree on most things but disagree on one point of action or decision – disciplining the children or Catholic verses public school; even then there are positive productive ways of coming to a solution that everyone can live with.  Or so I am told.  But what if the couple can’t agree or what if the disagreement is on something more personal such as how they perceive a moment?  What then?

This is really what my quandary is about.  For all my life fighting fair meant (for me) listen and understand what I believed them to be saying and feeling but when it came to my side being heard I would only work so long and then give up and give in, especially when it came to something that was personal.  Example:  I married at 31.  I hoped for a large family.  I wanted to start having children right away so that my biological clock would not compromise my chosen destiny.  My then husband decided we needed to wait two years.  We discussed.  We argued.  I cried.  We discussed and argued some more and then I gave in.  We compromised meaning we did it his way.  This pattern was repeated over and over and over again in our marriage.  You can see that this marriage was destined to fail – we both failed.

How far do we take something?  How long does an issue stay an issue?  When is enough, enough?  I am told to stand by what I say and what I believe.  I have no problem with that but what does one do when perceptions about a single event are so different?  Or the other party is hostile or hurt by my stand.  Example:  I say that I wasn’t mad about something and they say they perceived my mood as different?  And does it matter?

Political arguments are different then personal ones.  Heated discussions about policy are most often about ideas but personal confrontations often deal in feelings.  What has always hurt me the most about personal issues is the experience of having my perception and/or feeling being negated or disregarded.  I work very hard to try to see things from the other’s point of view.  (Sometime doing it too well) I am not perfect and probably am not as successful as I want to believe but, just once I would like someone to say to me, “I understand that you what you are saying; I understand why this would hurt you and its ok.  I love you just the same but can you see that when you are bitchy like that it makes it difficult for me to want to talk to you?”  Instead of the implied guilt that I simply was wrong for not being perfect at every given moment.  “I can’t talk to you when you get bitchy like this.”  No, you choose to shut down because you don’t want to deal with my mood.

Although I have answered no question I feel I have gain insight and strength in this process.  Working through “issues” is as much about loving myself, believing in myself as it is in loving and believing in the other.  My now dead marriage has taught me that peace at any cost is too expensive and not worth the sacrifice.  And if I care, really care about the other person I will stick with the process until both people feel at peace with themselves and the solution or outcome.  No easy answer, but then most valuable worthwhile things come at a cost.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

How much are we responsible for how others perceive us?  How much are we responsible for how others react to us based on what they think our response might be?  Think about it.  We hear jokes about it.  We see situations written into TV shows and movies — the wife asks the husband:  “Do I look fat in this dress?”  We all know (both male and female) there is no good answer to this question.  We would hope for honesty, but what if she does look fat in that dress and is P.M.S.ing and a little white lie would get them out of the room and into a pleasant evening?  What if she doesn’t but she, in her own insecurity doesn’t believe him?  Is he responsible for her reaction?  I suspect there is a collective cry from the male readers “Of course not!”  Yet, I would question those male readers about how many times they have blamed a hopeless situation on their girlfriend or wife because of their own fear to respond because of an imagined possible angry response from her.

Here is another question:  Who determines another’s emotional stability?  Some would say we do, but then I don’t know of a psychophrenic who sees themselves as crazy.  If we leave it up to those around us then we get into deep trouble too.  How about we leave it up to the professionals but then we would have to carry our “proof” around with us.  Because of an interesting life, I have had the opportunity to have psychological assessments more then once.  In the early 80’s, in an effort to figure out how to accept lay persons into a test program I had to go through the same process those seeking entrance into the seminary went through.  I was the pilot person for a lay professional ministry training program.  Just like the military I gave back to the diocese I presently worked  a year of service for every 6 weeks of graduate school they paid for.  Since they didn’t know how to decern appropriate candidates I went through the same intellectual and emotional assessment those young men entering into seminary did.  I was given a clean bill of health.  Approximately 10 years later I participated in a  program to help train Spiritual Directors…. another psychological assessment as they worked with different tools.  And yes there was a third later with the same outcome… clean bill of health.  (Actually I am too modest to say just what these assessments reported but lets just say I am mentally in good shape)  And yet, in these past few years I am finding myself questioning my own sanity not because I think I’m crazy but because of what others say on how they perceive me. 

Now, I believe firmly that honesty is the best policy, but I also believe it takes two to tango.  I get that I can be cranky and needy at times and during these times I can be a bitch to be around.  I accept that and will be the first to admit my fault when I see it.  What I don’t understand is why people feel they can tell me this and not accept responsibility for when they are difficult to be around.  Or want to make me feel guilty because they are afraid to talk to me about something.  I have a situation at work where one of my co-workers tells me all the time she was afraid to bring something to me because she thought I would get mad when in truth not telling me gave her more power or control in the situation.  Or my ex-husband who used my sometimes chaotic responses to shut down from me completely.  How do I put two completely different pictures together — the professionals who tell me I am fine and others who communicate I am not.

I guess I am not different than any other person in this world.  We all must decide who and what we are going to believe.  Maybe that is why a strong sense of self is important, so when these moments come in our lives we can decern where the truth lies.  And for my money that is the only place one should want to be — surrounded by truth.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

This is a question I want an answer to and I invite you to respond to. 

You see, I have been sick all weekend.  After I posted my last blog (about sending my daughter off to World Youth Day) I proceeded to get sick.  In between running to the bathroom I have spent the last 48 hours either sleeping or watching TV.  Movies to be exact.  And between scary crap (which I don’t watch) and beat’em up movies (which I rarely watch) the only movies to be found were stories of princes and maidens …. fairy tale type stories where everyone lives happily ever after.  Now, I must admit I slept through some of the endings but I know the story line well enough to know how things ended (and in truth I had seem most of the movies before). 

Ok, before I go any further I know what I was watching was fantasy.  And these are stories that must have a clean ending or people won’t pay to watch.  And yes, I am a person of faith and I do believe that we, if we have lived a life worthy of Christ, will spend all eternity in every lasting joy.  What I speak of is the now.  In this life of struggle, disappointment, sin, and hard work will we know joy?  Not an lifetime of silly happiness but a sense of positive strength and righteousness.

Now I have a friend who will tell me that it is all a decision and I do agree with that.  We must, each day choose to make a decision how we will face the world, how we will enterprete moments and events.  Happiness is not a gift as much as it is a choice.  But making that choice each day takes energy and what if the energy isn’t there? 

This same friend would then tell me that happiness comes from within us.  We can enjoy moments of people bringing joy into our world but the day to day, the underlying happiness that is the foundation to our days and ways comes from within.  And again I would agree with that.  I don’t know this is yet a lived truth for me but one I am trying to learn — to look within for meaning; to look within for direction; to look within for value and joy.   But again, that takes a lot of energy because I am having to “rewire” 50 years of learning… and what if I don’t have the energy any more?

In the beginning of the book of Genesis we hear of God’s creating the world.  I think it is important to remember that God created humanity as a community — two.  There was not just one man… one person.  God created people to be there for one another.  At least that is my educated theory.  Why do you think we are mandated to attend Sunday Mass?  To remind us that we cannot do this alone and to remind us there are other people out there to help us along the way.  Problem is that instead of working on the “happy ever afters” of others most people use others and things to find or create a momentary “happy ever after” for themselves. 

I am not afraid to admit that I need other people in my life.  I need you to help me and I need you to let me help you.  Maybe then, together we can create a “happy ever after” for each other.  I remain,  your servant in Christ.

Theresa

This afternoon I put my daughter on a plane for a trip whose final destination is Australia.  She will be one of a half millionCatholic youth expectedto participate in the Papel Mass on Sunday July 20th.  As a mother and as a professional Church minister for almost 30 years I have very mixed feelings.

First and foremost I am thrilled and excited for her.  These gatherings are rare and to have the opportunity to participate a privilege.  Rare in that they have only been happening in the last two Papel reigns.  Rare in that World Youth Day only occurs every two to three years.   Rare because of the millions of Catholic youth here in the United States only 15,000 are making the trip.  And my daughter is one of them.  She will have an opportunity to experience first hand how universal our faith really is.  She will be standing shoulder to shoulder with individuals from every continent, from almost every country; all singing praise to God in one love.  I would love to be a bird flying over the field during the Mass to hear those gathered saying the Our Father, each in their native tongue.  The Feast of Pentecost.  What an awesome moment.

As a mother I am worried for her safety.  In this day and age of terrorism one never knows whether an innocent trip to the grocery story isn’t going to end dramatically.  But then to gather in such an attention getting moment.  Please, God; keep your children safe.  Putting terrorism aside how about her getting kidnapped.  I hate watching the news and hearing of a teen disappearing because they were in the wrong place.  Please, God, keep her safe.

As a faith giver I am prayerful and hopeful for her and all those who attend.  The United States is unique in that we send our High School Students, young people who have not as yet made commitments to their future.  Most other countries send their young adults.  My daughter still struggles to know what to do with her future.  People ask her all the time what she wants to study in college and although she can definitely answer “Mathematics” beyond that she is lost.  What does she want to do with her life?  Who does she want to be when she grows up?  These are things I know she struggles with because we talk about them.  My prayer from her, my hope for her is that these next few days will bring some clarity of thought and direction, if not for her life most certainly for her faith.

And I will miss her.  They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  This I know will be true.  Although I will enjoy my privacy and having the apartment to myself for a few days I already feel the emptiness her being gone brings. 

Best wishes to each and every one who gathers in Sydney these next few days.  Let us all pray that this will be a great opportunity for the Holy Spirit to pour out His grace on the youth of our world.  And God brings them all home safe to inspire their personal worlds.  I remain, Your servant in Christ.

Theresa

My friends like to tease me because by nature I have an Eeyore personality.  If you re familiar with the famous stories of Christopher Robin and his friend Pooh Bear then you know that one of the friends that lives in the 100 acre woods is a donkey by the name of Eeyore.  Whatever the situation Eeyore expects the worst.  The sun is shining and there is one white puffy cloud in the sky and Eeyore would say something like:  “Looks like rain.”  You know the type.  They are always seeing the negative possibilities to the point of nausea.  Well, that has been me.  Oh, I had my good days but for the most part if something bad could happen I thought of it and was sure it would happen to me.  Now I have since come to realize that some of my Eeyorism was due to an imbalance and was able to treat it through a Dr.’s perscription.  But I still struggle because I must retrain myself to view life in a different manner. 

Attitude is a choice.  Yes, there are exceptions but for most of us most of the times we choose how we want to view the world even if that choice is to be consumed by what has been or the attitude of others around us.  But its important to realize that in any given situation, at any given time we choose how happy we want to be.  This may seem strange to some but its true.  If I wait for my outside circumstances to be such as they make me happy then I will be happy only for short flashes.  And if I wait for the people around me to make me happy that places an unfair burden on their shoulders.  And if we believe we are the masters of our destiny (which we should believe) then we must be captains of our attitude.

Back in the spring of 2006 I broke my foot.  It was a completely depressing time for me.  I was in the beginning stages of waking up to the truth of the ugly state of my marriage; I was turning 50 and now everything was made more difficult because of having to stay completely off my one foot.  My Eeyorism was having a field day.  Its sad now that I look back on that time because there were a lot of people trying to do a lot of nice things for me but I refused to see them.  I couldn’t and maintain my negative image of life.  After a very short period of time I found myself alone.

A very good place to begin is developing a daily attitude of gratitude — looking for the good in this moment.  I hate funerals but I love seeing people I haven’t seen in years.  I hate taxes but I appreciate the freedom my government provides me.  Stop yourself when you find yourself complaining about something and just think about the good that has or will come out of this moment.  I have met people who are devistated because of a termal illness and those who choose to look for good in the moment.  Which do you think lives longer?  So, start today.  Say no to your inner Eeyore.  Look for the silver lining and who knows… the treasures that come your way in friends, family and experiences will make you rich indeed.  I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

Tonight I dropped my daughter off for a birthday party that my ex’s family was having for her 17th.  The feeling was strange.  It was the first time I had to do that since this whole “adventure” began.  Up till now my ex has picked her up to take her to family gatherings.  I thought it would be for the big holidays that I would have a hard time, but then I probably prepared myself better for those moments.  Tonight, driving away I truly felt the separation that divorce brings in families. 

When people say that I am divorcing him or her not the family and friends they are naive or lying to themselves.  There was hope in my heart that we would not loose any relationships over this but it has happened.  His friends stayed his friends and mine stayed mine.  His family… well, lets just say that even when I was included in family gatherings I was an outsider so that hasn’t changed much.  And I am thrilled to say that the neice and nephew I watched grow up choose to stay in contact with me.  But there have been those friends we have made through our daughter.  She is close with their children so naturally we would do stuff together as a family.  Now I find some saying to me “We want to have you to this but please don’t tell him.”  or, graduation parties that I don’t get an invite to. 

Tearing.  Riping.  Holes.  That was what I was feeling tonight.  A big whole in my life.  For 20 plus years I worked hard to make these people a part of my life and now I can’t even go in the door… at least not today.  My saddness tonight is not that my life is moving on but that people choose not to value me above the role I played in their lives.  I was a daughter-in-law and now that I am no longer that I am no-one… to them.  Too bad, because I am a pretty incredable person.   

Life is a fluid thing.  The more we try to hold onto it, to stop it from changing the more frustrated we become.  Like holding onto water by making a fist, you literally squeeze the life out of it.  For too long I tried to do it the other way….  To change myself so I become something I was not to hold onto something that had died a long time ago.  I wasted a lot of energy and a lot of years.  No more.  I am going with the flow now.  Like a leaf on a stream I am allow life to carry me where it willl; holes and all.  A new me.  In the past I would have manipulated myself or the situation to make everyone happy.  Now I choose to live with the holes which I know will be healed with time.  Until next time, I remain, your servant in Christ,

Theresa

Last night I did something that was incredibly freeing.  In an effort to finally organize my bedroom into a place of rest and contemplation (not a dumping ground for boxes yet to be unpack, paperwork yet to be filed,…), I clean.  I had decided long ago that in making any move I would take out of the home I lived in for over 16 years, only what I need and truly valued.  Problem is one needs time to reflect to make that decision.  So, in an effort to take what I needed in a quick manner I just took it all.  Example:  my jewelry boxes.  Yes, there are several, which is silly for anyone who knows me.  I don’t where that much jewelry.  I love earrings and I have a few favorite pieces but 95% of what I took I never wore.  Why?  Because my now ex-mother-in-law gave them to me.  She loves jewelry, big, gaudy, ugly pieces.  When she no longer wanted something she passed in on to me as a birthday or Christmas gift.  If she once looked at me she would see that none of it fit my personality.  My earrings can be a bit gaudy at times but most of my taste runs to simple and small.  Compliment your total look I always believe rather then show off.  My ex-mother-in-law is a show off.

So, I sat down last night and worked into the wee hours of the night looking at stuff and decided its worth.  So much stuff I kept out of politeness.  Much because I had caught my ex-husband’s disease of “we don’t know if its valuable yet.  Who knows some day we may need it.”   Do you realize how much clutter accumulates in life if you hold on to stuff afraid to let go…just in case.  Its not like we live in a culture or time that almost any physical item cannot be easily replaced.  And so much becomes outdated in a matter of months, days, hours!  I created a huge pile that I will drop off with the hopes it gets returned to my ex’s mother.  Another pile that I will run down to the dumpster when I am done here.  And what is returned to my life is what will give me life.

In twelve years I moved 9 times.  Each move would be a cleaning process for me.  I would pack away only what I needed and wanted.  If I had not used it (memory boxes excluded) since the last move it was gone.  When I married I began to do something I hadn’t done in a long while, collect clutter. 

We do that in life don’t we.  We hold onto relationships, things, jobs, attitudes because they are comfortable.  Not valuable or life giving, but then we never know.  We hold onto it all in hopes… of what?  That they will change and become valuable?  That happens so rarely that, in my opinion, its not worth the clutter.  In all my moves I have never once regrettedgiving or throwing something away.  I miss the people I once knew but not the things or attitudes.  Each move was an opportunity to recreate myself; to put away stuff that didn’t work and to try again.  (Problem with 9 moves in 12 years I personally got lost in that process which continued into my marriage – but that is for another blog.)

Today is a new day.  This summer is the entrance into the next chapter of my life and by September I want to enter it owing no one; free of clutter and ready for the adventure.  Yes, I am even working on an annulment.  I am standing on the edge of the cliff of my destiny and I do not want to plunge to my death because of the weight of the crap I am holding on to.  I want what surrounds me to give me life so that I can do what I am meant to do –FLY! 

I remain, Your Servant in Christ,

Theresa

PS.  I will be gone on a family vacation over the Fourth of July weekend, so no new posts until July 8th or 9th.  Please pray for our troups, our government and our country.  And, enjoy this weekend, the freedoms hard fought for.

Ever live through a storm?  I mean a really horrific one.  A few years back, lets see…it was the spring of 2000, we had a tornado touch down here in the Detroit area.  I remember because it passed over our home and caused a lot of damage in the park across the street.   I remember fear, confusion and more fear because I was not in control and I didn’t know the outcome.  Real storms are a great lesson for life.

In our lives there are two kinds of storms.  Those we create and those that just happen.  Storms we create, if we are willing to be honest with ourselves, are the ones we add fuel to the fire.  We find ourselves in the middle of a battle with a family member over some piece of property (clothing, money, debt or inheritance) and we have to be right.  It becomes not about fairness about about winning.  We are struggle with diabetes but only after years of overeating and little physical activity.  We loose our jobs not because of cut backs but because of our own work ethic (or lack of one) and incompetence.  Many of the “storms,” the difficult times of our lives we are there because of our own decision or unwillingness to compromise or change.  Much of the Old Testament Prophets is about messages sent to the Israelites to get “their act together” and follow the ways of God.  They had one conquer-er after another, even exile because of their own fault.  Its called “consequences to your actions!” 

But there are other storms in life.  Illness, accidents, loss of jobs…. bad things happen to good people through no consequence of their own.  It is not by God’s design or desire but they still happen because this is a fallen world.  So, like the tornado that passed over my home — one minute all is fine and the next chaos.

This life is about choices.  In any given moment; in any given storm we have to make a choice.  Today the Gospel reading for Mass was taken from the 8th chapter of Matthew.  It was the story of Jesus being on the boat with the disciples.  Jesus had just fallen asleep and a great storm rocks the boat.  What did the disciples do?  They turned to Jesus and asked for help. 

What storm is going on in your life?  What problems do you not see and end to?  As simplistic as this sounds it is the answer — Turn to God.  God is in Control.  Realize that no matter how hard you can try you cannot control the wind and you cannot control the people around you.  Let go and Let God be God.  Problem with this answer is that you must then trust the process, the way that God gives you to make your way through the storm.  There is a joke about a man who falls off a cliff and as he plunges to his certain death he grabs and holds onto a root sticking out the side of the mountain.  He gathers his wits and starts to scream “Help, is anybody up there?”  After a moment or two he hears this big bombing voice:  “I AM HERE!  I WILL HELP, YOU.”   The man pauses and with relief calls up asking what he should do.  The voice responds:  “This is God.  Let go!”   The man screams:  “Is anybody else up there?”  A cute joke but very true.  We are so willing to let God be God as long as we don’t have to give any security up and the answer is what we want to hear.

Let go and Let God or God is in control means the whole way.  Not just for the moment, not just until we get out of the jam; not just until we get what we want…. It’s God’s way the whole way.  Because if not… then we get out of one storm only to find ourselves in the middle of another.  Remember?  We create most of the chaos that is our life.  I remain,

Your Servant in Christ,

Theresa

Would Jesus get a job working for the Catholic Church if he applied today? 

There is an uncomfortable balance that the Church must maintain when it comes to calling people into ministerial roles.  Yes the degrees and paperwork we accumulate to show the world that we know what we are talking about; that we are prepared to do our work is important.  Too many people have been lead away from the faith because people simply didn’t know what they were talking about.  But, the reverse is true as well.  Too many people have been lead away from the faith because people had all the correct degrees and paperwork but didn’t have the heart to know what they should do.

I attended a workshop once that supported my point of view and changed what paperwork I would hang in my office.  The presenter, when asked what his background was, stated that the only thing that hangs in his office is a copy of his baptismal certificate.  He went on to say that what should matter is not the number of degrees we earn but the quality of our character.  Yes, he had a number of degrees and shared them but some of the most educated people are the least qualified to work with people. 

Think about it.  If we look at scripture we find not well educated people called but people who have talent and an OPENNESS to God and God’s way.  King David was just a boy.  Abraham was an old man, retired for that matter.  Deborah was a woman during a time when women were less valued then cattle.  Peter was a fisherman and Matthew a tax collector.  Each of these people if they presented themselves to the Church today would get nowhere because although they may have a calling from God they have no paperwork to prove it.  Paul would be the only one but he would find himself quickly without a job because even though he has the background for ministry his arrogance and certitude in his conviction would guarantee that he would be blacklisted by the status quo.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I believe deeply in training and background.  I have an BA in Religious Studies and a MA in Pastoral Ministry but that pales in comparison to the passion in my heart for what I do in ministry.  I trained myself through coursework not to get the job but to do better, the job I had.  I have met some wonderfully gifted people who are ignored by the official Church because they don’t have the degrees to their name.  And who suffers… we do. 

Jesus asked the apostles “Who do you say I am?” (Matthew 15:16) and He asks each one of us.  If Jesus can only be found in the service provided for us by the Priest, Deacon or educated minister then we miss the boat.  Jesus is found each and every time we put others needs before our wants.  Jesus is found in the smile of a young person as they sing in the Children’s choir.   Jesus is found in the poorly dressed (in our opinion) teen who passes out bulletins at the end of Mass.  Jesus is found in the retired persons hands as they weed out a garden for a neighbor… 

So, don’t worry so much about proving your worth to the powers to be in the Church and work hard at opening your heart to the Lord.  Let the Lord lead you.  Let God determine the adventure of your life.  I remain,

Your Servant In Christ,

Theresa